PMS And The Meaning!

I owe this on to someone I really like, she knows who I am talking about. She asked me to write about this subject so here it goes.

PMS: Meaning... Pussys Mad at Something. Anyone who ever experienced this terrible phenomenon from the third party perspective knows, you are always in a lose lose situation, as a man I might add. I compare it to 1 man in a room of 50 women watching the lifetime channel. You are basically screwed. Your opinion will never matter, or your existence for that matter. Forget about guys night out. You are a slave to bitchdom. Whatever she wants you will get right? Wrong boys. The Godfather has the answer. Beer and lots of it. Your job as men is to find out when your significant other is on the RAG and plan your beer purchases accordingly to her bitch schedule. When PMS comes, you need to be armed with bottles of your favorite beer. The more you drink, the less you hear her nagging. It works. If you decide to remain sober you are kidding yourselves because there aint a damn pair of earplugs on the planet that will withstand the sound of a bitchy woman. Oil your palms too because as you drink they become more and more desirable. The bottom line is, as men we have rights even in the times of PMS we can rise up and take control but we need help from uncle Yeast, Malt, Barley and Hops to help us. Good luck men and for the women out there to us men PMS really stands for...Please More Suds!

You Are Not Happy Being Fat, You Just Came To The Conclusion You Ain't Gonna Lose The Weight!

Being fat, there is no excuse for it. Period. I am so sick of seeing diet commercials telling people how to lose weight, low carbs, south beach, Atkins. Losing weight is a pretty simple concept but the problem is most people don’t have the will power to do it so they tell themselves they are happy and force you to accept them. I’m sorry but I am not going to give half my seat up on an airplane because your ass cheek is on my lap. You can pay for 2 tickets. I am not going to pay my hard earned money (our taxes) on you because you are sick and in the hospital. Do me and everyone else a favor that is not consuming everything around them: Take the damn fork out of your mouth and walk. Just walk. Walk from here to there and back again. Is it so hard to eat maybe 1 burger instead of 2? How about some water instead of the shake? Just think about it the next time you feel sorry for yourself and you are eating your fridge, maybe if I omitted 1 thing everyday and moved once in a while I would lose some weight. Stop making excuses because people who make excuses are seldom good for anything else!

Marriage Contract

This is something oldwhitelady sent in to me on a recent comment to one of my posts. Thanks alot oldwhitelady, I think this will be a real eye opener for people and a treat for some:

FEBRUARY 17--This country, as you know, is filled with the deranged. And then there's Travis Frey, a 33-year-old Iowa man who is facing charges that he tried to kidnap his own wife (not to mention a separate child pornography rap). Frey, prosecutors contend, apparently is a rather demanding guy. In fact, he actually drew up a bizarre four-page marriage document--a "Contract of Wifely Expectations"--that sought to establish guidelines for his spouse in terms of hygiene, clothing, and sexual activities. In return for fulfilling certain requirements, Frey (pictured right) offered "Good Behavior Days," or GBDs. Each GBD, Frey wrote, could be redeemed by his wife to "get out of doing the things" he requested daily. A copy of the proposed contract, which Frey's wife never signed and later provided to cops, can be found below. While we normally point out the highlights of most documents, there are so many in this demented, and very graphic, contract, we really can't do it justice. So set aside ten minutes--and prepare to be repulsed. (4 pages)

Click On This To See This Guys Contract!

If You Get Married You Are Finished!

Why? If you are already living with someone would anyone even consider getting married? It benefits only 1 person in the relationship and that of course is the woman. The marriage certificate is a front row ticket to a mans' finances and possessions. If you are not married and something were to go wrong in the relationship and it happens to come to an end, at least the man can walk away without everything he worked hard for being raped from him. We as men at least have a fighting chance if we don’t get married to hold onto what we worked for. I’m not saying go into a relationship expecting that it is going to fail but apply the same principal to seat belts. You don’t put a seat belt on expecting to crash do you? But, you still put one on. So why do women bitch when confronted with a prenuptial agreement? I will tell you why they bitch and it is for the sole reason that they have nothing to gain if the relationship does fail. If you ask me women are far worse than men in their evil thinking. Men we think with our cocks and we admit it. Women think with their wallets and that is another reason their pussys are the shape of a purse. It is written all over them, on every single damn one of them. I say all of this because a friend I work with is so excited to get married. I wonder if he as excited about murder as he is with getting married? It ain’t much different really. It gets worse when women are married and have kids. Not only do women get fatter and unattractive but they now have more leverage with all sorts of treats if the marriage fails. Lovely things like child support, alimony and also the pleasure of getting to keep the kids. Women always win in marriage. It is a lose, lose situation for men. But good luck to all the man out there about to get screwed in marriage, I hope for your sake you have no money…. …duh, of course you have money that’s why she said I do.

Show Me the Money

After taking a look at the first remote control ever invented tell me women aren't interested in just one thing "Show me the money".

Greatest All Around Baseball Player & Cocksman Of The Week: Pete Rose!

If you have not heard yet apparently Wayne Gretzky (a hockey player turned coach, in case you women out there don't know this) is linked somehow in a gambling scandal with his wife and assistant coach Rick Tochett the ring leaders. To make this a short story basically they have not been able to prove that in fact he did gamble himself. But he is a Hall Of Famer and I can tell you this, it doesn't matter what the outcome is, it will all be brushed under the table and forgotten.

Now to Pete Rose who was banned from baseball for gambling. He may never make it into the Hall Of Fame as the all time hit king which is pretty sad when you consider drug addicts, wife beaters and murderers are in there. I think Pete paid his dues and if he makes the Hall Of Fame it wont be until he passes away. Here are some of THE GREAT PETE ROSES' records:


All-time Major League record for most career hits-4,256
All-time Major League record for most games played-3,562
All-time Major League record for most at bats-14,053
All-time Major League record for most singles-3,315
All-time Major League record for most total bases by a switch hitter-5,752
All-time Major League record for most seasons of 200 or more hits-10
All-time Major League record for most consecutive seasons of 100 or more hits-23
All-time Major League record for most seasons with 600 or more at bats-17
All-time Major League record for most seasons with 150 or more games played--17
All-time Major League record for most seasons with 100 or more games played-23
Only player in Major League history to play more than 500 games at five different Positions-1B (939) 2B (628) 3B (634) LF (671) RF (595)
Major League record for playing in the most winning games-1,972
All-time National League record for most years played-24
All-time National League record for most consecutive years played-24
All-time National League record for most career runs-2,165
All-time National League record for most career doubles-746
All-time National League record for most games with 5 or more hits-10
Modern National League record for longest consecutive game hitting streak-44
Modern National League Record for most consecutive game hitting streaks of 20 or more games--7

Just a side note: In 1961 Roger Maris broke Babe Ruths homerun record of 60 when he hit 61. However baseball put an * next to it (61*) because it took him more games to break the record than Babe Ruth. It was eventually overturned and Roger Maris was given the official title of single season home run king. The problem was Roger Maris was never informed of this because he had already died.

If You Let Me Go Out With My Friends, I Will Blah, Blah, Blah!

Compromise is a funny word. When two nations are at odds they compromise to resolve an issue. It does not mean that they get along but what it does mean is they temporarily resolve their differences. Usually it doesn't last. That is why I hate when people say marriage is about compromise and to be quite honest that only means the two of you are at differences to begin with. Maybe you should not be together. The marriage has already failed once you have to ask permission. If you have to compromise on something in marriage you are basically swallowing your pride so that the other person gets what they want. After a long period of time one of if not both parties will get sick of it. To me, if I want to go and have a beer, that is what I am going to do. There is no compromise. I am going. It would also eliminate white lies in marriage because it will allow people to be honest and straight forward. You also should not have to ask to have money to go do something with friends. If you make the money, it's your manly right to make an ATM withdrawal and live it up. So if you are in a relationship that you have to compromise then you are in a virtual prison and the only way to get the key to the prison door is to get out of the relationship.

NOTE TO YOU FELLOW COCKSMAN: If you are in this situation, you get to look forward to child support, alimony and all of your possessions and hard earned money bestowed upon her feet. This is coming from The Godfather, married happily with 2 kids for 10 years so no I don't speak from experience but this is what I see!

Gimme Back My Keys!

I had to take my keys back from oldwhitelady and annillusion (former contributors to this blog). They were making the Mens Room weak. They decorated it with frosting and pussy shit. Sorry ladies but when you take advantage of a man, it's out the door with ya both. Real men control their domain. I'm not here to compromise. You are both great don't get me wrong, and don't hate the playa, hate the game so no hard feelings. You can visit The Godfather and Chefphronc anytime but please there are a few men rules you need to consider:

1. Never interrupt a man watching sports!
2. Never take a mans beer or limit the amount of intake of said beer! That is a no, no.
3. Always be willing to have sex, and keep yourself fit otherwise we will search somewhere else.
4. Leave the toilet seat up!
5. Leave the roll of toilet paper on the damn sink counter.
6. Talk Less
7. Avoid driving
8. Don't wear long dresses, we need to look at your ass!

These are the few rules in which men expect to be honored! Other than that, pull your panties down anytime and get us a round of beers too.

Listen Up Guys! Your Wife Could Be Banging Your Friendly Neighbor!

I was listening to Tom Leykis on the way to work today and some guy called in to say he caught his wife cheating. Apparently this guy came home from work early and peered into his bedroom and saw this guy mounting his wife. It was his friend from a few houses down so he says. He rambled on about how he always has the guy over and they are both football fans, yada, yada, yada. He also said how this guy has been friends with his wife for a long time. He told Tom that he watched this guy plow his wife for 20 minutes and said he was mad that his wife was doing things to this guy that she would never do with him. The first thing I said to myself was, “Why the hell were you watching for 20 minutes?” Secondly, “Why did you not storm into the room?” I tried to call in so desperately to respond to this guy because I wanted to ask him if his friends cock was bigger than his. After all he watched for 20 minutes. If so, I was going to ask him if he had ever watched the SNL skit “The Ladies Man” before. If so then he would know the reason for his cheating wife. He has SWS, or short wang syndrome in which there is no cure. It is the size that matters, don’t let women fool ya. Poor guy, his life will always be sad.

The Master Cocksman Is Back!

Ok the Godfather is back from a long layoff from blogging. But better late than never right? Valentines Day came and went and all I kept seeing on television leading up to this sacred womans’ day is the Kay Jewelers commercial. Anyone ever see any of those? Ya know the one where the bitch is sitting on the couch wallowing in her misery and the pussy whipped guy comes over and opens up a small box containing a $2,000 dollar ring and opens it. Now the bitch is all smiles, and then you hear the famous jingle, “Every kiss begins with Kay.” No... every kiss begins with money! If the pussy whipped guy bought home a box of “thought that matters,” he would not have received a kiss. He would have received an invitation to the back yard so he can sleep for the night. I hate when people say it’s the thought that matters and then they contradict themselves by getting angry when you try and do something inexpensive and creative. If any guy out there is nodding with me on this, you need to get your dingy wet somewhere else and dump the bitch!