The Mens Room ( Home Of The World's Greatest Cocksmen)

PMS And The Meaning!

2006-03-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

I owe this on to someone I really like, she knows who I am talking about. She asked me to write about this subject so here it goes.

PMS: Meaning... Pussys Mad at Something. Anyone who ever experienced this terrible phenomenon from the third party perspective knows, you are always in a lose lose situation, as a man I might add. I compare it to 1 man in a room of 50 women watching the lifetime channel. You are basically screwed. Your opinion will never matter, or your existence for that matter. Forget about guys night out. You are a slave to bitchdom. Whatever she wants you will get right? Wrong boys. The Godfather has the answer. Beer and lots of it. Your job as men is to find out when your significant other is on the RAG and plan your beer purchases accordingly to her bitch schedule. When PMS comes, you need to be armed with bottles of your favorite beer. The more you drink, the less you hear her nagging. It works. If you decide to remain sober you are kidding yourselves because there aint a damn pair of earplugs on the planet that will withstand the sound of a bitchy woman. Oil your palms too because as you drink they become more and more desirable. The bottom line is, as men we have rights even in the times of PMS we can rise up and take control but we need help from uncle Yeast, Malt, Barley and Hops to help us. Good luck men and for the women out there to us men PMS really stands for...Please More Suds!

You Are Not Happy Being Fat, You Just Came To The Conclusion You Ain't Gonna Lose The Weight!

2006-03-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

Being fat, there is no excuse for it. Period. I am so sick of seeing diet commercials telling people how to lose weight, low carbs, south beach, Atkins. Losing weight is a pretty simple concept but the problem is most people don’t have the will power to do it so they tell themselves they are happy and force you to accept them. I’m sorry but I am not going to give half my seat up on an airplane because your ass cheek is on my lap. You can pay for 2 tickets. I am not going to pay my hard earned money (our taxes) on you because you are sick and in the hospital. Do me and everyone else a favor that is not consuming everything around them: Take the damn fork out of your mouth and walk. Just walk. Walk from here to there and back again. Is it so hard to eat maybe 1 burger instead of 2? How about some water instead of the shake? Just think about it the next time you feel sorry for yourself and you are eating your fridge, maybe if I omitted 1 thing everyday and moved once in a while I would lose some weight. Stop making excuses because people who make excuses are seldom good for anything else!

Marriage Contract

2006-02-23T19:27:00.000-07:00

This is something oldwhitelady sent in to me on a recent comment to one of my posts. Thanks alot oldwhitelady, I think this will be a real eye opener for people and a treat for some:

FEBRUARY 17--This country, as you know, is filled with the deranged. And then there's Travis Frey, a 33-year-old Iowa man who is facing charges that he tried to kidnap his own wife (not to mention a separate child pornography rap). Frey, prosecutors contend, apparently is a rather demanding guy. In fact, he actually drew up a bizarre four-page marriage document--a "Contract of Wifely Expectations"--that sought to establish guidelines for his spouse in terms of hygiene, clothing, and sexual activities. In return for fulfilling certain requirements, Frey (pictured right) offered "Good Behavior Days," or GBDs. Each GBD, Frey wrote, could be redeemed by his wife to "get out of doing the things" he requested daily. A copy of the proposed contract, which Frey's wife never signed and later provided to cops, can be found below. While we normally point out the highlights of most documents, there are so many in this demented, and very graphic, contract, we really can't do it justice. So set aside ten minutes--and prepare to be repulsed. (4 pages)

Click On This To See This Guys Contract!

If You Get Married You Are Finished!

2006-02-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

Why? If you are already living with someone would anyone even consider getting married? It benefits only 1 person in the relationship and that of course is the woman. The marriage certificate is a front row ticket to a mans' finances and possessions. If you are not married and something were to go wrong in the relationship and it happens to come to an end, at least the man can walk away without everything he worked hard for being raped from him. We as men at least have a fighting chance if we don’t get married to hold onto what we worked for. I’m not saying go into a relationship expecting that it is going to fail but apply the same principal to seat belts. You don’t put a seat belt on expecting to crash do you? But, you still put one on. So why do women bitch when confronted with a prenuptial agreement? I will tell you why they bitch and it is for the sole reason that they have nothing to gain if the relationship does fail. If you ask me women are far worse than men in their evil thinking. Men we think with our cocks and we admit it. Women think with their wallets and that is another reason their pussys are the shape of a purse. It is written all over them, on every single damn one of them. I say all of this because a friend I work with is so excited to get married. I wonder if he as excited about murder as he is with getting married? It ain’t much different really. It gets worse when women are married and have kids. Not only do women get fatter and unattractive but they now have more leverage with all sorts of treats if the marriage fails. Lovely things like child support, alimony and also the pleasure of getting to keep the kids. Women always win in marriage. It is a lose, lose situation for men. But good luck to all the man out there about to get screwed in marriage, I hope for your sake you have no money…. …duh, of course you have money that’s why she said I do.

Show Me the Money

2006-02-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

After taking a look at the first remote control ever invented tell me women aren't interested in just one thing "Show me the money".

Greatest All Around Baseball Player & Cocksman Of The Week: Pete Rose!

2006-02-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

If you have not heard yet apparently Wayne Gretzky (a hockey player turned coach, in case you women out there don't know this) is linked somehow in a gambling scandal with his wife and assistant coach Rick Tochett the ring leaders. To make this a short story basically they have not been able to prove that in fact he did gamble himself. But he is a Hall Of Famer and I can tell you this, it doesn't matter what the outcome is, it will all be brushed under the table and forgotten.

Now to Pete Rose who was banned from baseball for gambling. He may never make it into the Hall Of Fame as the all time hit king which is pretty sad when you consider drug addicts, wife beaters and murderers are in there. I think Pete paid his dues and if he makes the Hall Of Fame it wont be until he passes away. Here are some of THE GREAT PETE ROSES' records:

All-time Major League record for most career hits-4,256
All-time Major League record for most games played-3,562
All-time Major League record for most at bats-14,053
All-time Major League record for most singles-3,315
All-time Major League record for most total bases by a switch hitter-5,752
All-time Major League record for most seasons of 200 or more hits-10
All-time Major League record for most consecutive seasons of 100 or more hits-23
All-time Major League record for most seasons with 600 or more at bats-17
All-time Major League record for most seasons with 150 or more games played--17
All-time Major League record for most seasons with 100 or more games played-23
Only player in Major League history to play more than 500 games at five different Positions-1B (939) 2B (628) 3B (634) LF (671) RF (595)
Major League record for playing in the most winning games-1,972
All-time National League record for most years played-24
All-time National League record for most consecutive years played-24
All-time National League record for most career runs-2,165
All-time National League record for most career doubles-746
All-time National League record for most games with 5 or more hits-10
Modern National League record for longest consecutive game hitting streak-44
Modern National League Record for most consecutive game hitting streaks of 20 or more games--7

Just a side note: In 1961 Roger Maris broke Babe Ruths homerun record of 60 when he hit 61. However baseball put an * next to it (61*) because it took him more games to break the record than Babe Ruth. It was eventually overturned and Roger Maris was given the official title of single season home run king. The problem was Roger Maris was never informed of this because he had already died.

If You Let Me Go Out With My Friends, I Will Blah, Blah, Blah!

2006-02-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

Compromise is a funny word. When two nations are at odds they compromise to resolve an issue. It does not mean that they get along but what it does mean is they temporarily resolve their differences. Usually it doesn't last. That is why I hate when people say marriage is about compromise and to be quite honest that only means the two of you are at differences to begin with. Maybe you should not be together. The marriage has already failed once you have to ask permission. If you have to compromise on something in marriage you are basically swallowing your pride so that the other person gets what they want. After a long period of time one of if not both parties will get sick of it. To me, if I want to go and have a beer, that is what I am going to do. There is no compromise. I am going. It would also eliminate white lies in marriage because it will allow people to be honest and straight forward. You also should not have to ask to have money to go do something with friends. If you make the money, it's your manly right to make an ATM withdrawal and live it up. So if you are in a relationship that you have to compromise then you are in a virtual prison and the only way to get the key to the prison door is to get out of the relationship.

NOTE TO YOU FELLOW COCKSMAN: If you are in this situation, you get to look forward to child support, alimony and all of your possessions and hard earned money bestowed upon her feet. This is coming from The Godfather, married happily with 2 kids for 10 years so no I don't speak from experience but this is what I see!

Gimme Back My Keys!

2006-02-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

I had to take my keys back from oldwhitelady and annillusion (former contributors to this blog). They were making the Mens Room weak. They decorated it with frosting and pussy shit. Sorry ladies but when you take advantage of a man, it's out the door with ya both. Real men control their domain. I'm not here to compromise. You are both great don't get me wrong, and don't hate the playa, hate the game so no hard feelings. You can visit The Godfather and Chefphronc anytime but please there are a few men rules you need to consider:

1. Never interrupt a man watching sports!
2. Never take a mans beer or limit the amount of intake of said beer! That is a no, no.
3. Always be willing to have sex, and keep yourself fit otherwise we will search somewhere else.
4. Leave the toilet seat up!
5. Leave the roll of toilet paper on the damn sink counter.
6. Talk Less
7. Avoid driving
8. Don't wear long dresses, we need to look at your ass!

These are the few rules in which men expect to be honored! Other than that, pull your panties down anytime and get us a round of beers too.

Listen Up Guys! Your Wife Could Be Banging Your Friendly Neighbor!

2006-02-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

I was listening to Tom Leykis on the way to work today and some guy called in to say he caught his wife cheating. Apparently this guy came home from work early and peered into his bedroom and saw this guy mounting his wife. It was his friend from a few houses down so he says. He rambled on about how he always has the guy over and they are both football fans, yada, yada, yada. He also said how this guy has been friends with his wife for a long time. He told Tom that he watched this guy plow his wife for 20 minutes and said he was mad that his wife was doing things to this guy that she would never do with him. The first thing I said to myself was, “Why the hell were you watching for 20 minutes?” Secondly, “Why did you not storm into the room?” I tried to call in so desperately to respond to this guy because I wanted to ask him if his friends cock was bigger than his. After all he watched for 20 minutes. If so, I was going to ask him if he had ever watched the SNL skit “The Ladies Man” before. If so then he would know the reason for his cheating wife. He has SWS, or short wang syndrome in which there is no cure. It is the size that matters, don’t let women fool ya. Poor guy, his life will always be sad.

The Master Cocksman Is Back!

2006-02-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

Ok the Godfather is back from a long layoff from blogging. But better late than never right? Valentines Day came and went and all I kept seeing on television leading up to this sacred womans’ day is the Kay Jewelers commercial. Anyone ever see any of those? Ya know the one where the bitch is sitting on the couch wallowing in her misery and the pussy whipped guy comes over and opens up a small box containing a $2,000 dollar ring and opens it. Now the bitch is all smiles, and then you hear the famous jingle, “Every kiss begins with Kay.” No... every kiss begins with money! If the pussy whipped guy bought home a box of “thought that matters,” he would not have received a kiss. He would have received an invitation to the back yard so he can sleep for the night. I hate when people say it’s the thought that matters and then they contradict themselves by getting angry when you try and do something inexpensive and creative. If any guy out there is nodding with me on this, you need to get your dingy wet somewhere else and dump the bitch!

Happy Vagina Day

2006-02-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

Don't forget the edible undies
The dinner reservations
The chocolate
The roses
The diamond tennis bracelet
The poem
and the engagement ring....

This is your day to show your gal just how much you love her. The more money you spend, the more you love her. We know this.

Sexism

2006-02-12T14:23:00.000-07:00

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

2006-02-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hey Dave, or should I say "GodFather",

Thanks for inviting me to be a contributor to the Mens Room. Here is my first contribution. Hope you and the other loyal readers enjoy it. Is there not some truth in this?

Just an introductory post

2006-02-11T14:39:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon, Dear Readers.
At the risk of The Godfather taking back his spare blog keys, I wanted to introduce myself because you might see a post from me, now and then. The Godfather was nice enough to invite me to join his team. **I expect the same scenario played out with Ann Illusion.

*Whisper* According to a little bird, Mrs. The Godfather was upset that The Godfather was spending too much time on his blog. She would try to get him to come to bed, and of course, he was all, "I've got to finish this post..." or, "I've got to finish this comment". She finally told him, straight up, that he needed to spend a little less time on the blog. At that point, he said, "You know I detest women drivers, and you're driving me crazy!" So then (nice lady, Mrs. The Godfather) she suggested to him to get someone else to help post. I know, I know, you're asking your computer screen, "Well, why didn't he ask me?"

I'll tell you why...They looked at all the blog commenters and she said, "Well that oldwhitelady comments a lot, and she doesn't seem to know who she is because she also commented as oldgentleman, so perhaps she has too much time on her hands and can help you out. She can figure out who she is, at the same time." So, The Godfather sent a nice message saying, "My wife would like you to help post on this blog. As a favor to her, would you consider it?" What could I say?

Of course, I said, "Sure, why not?" and so am posting this post so you'll know a little more about me. As for The Godfather and Mrs. The Godfather, she was happy that I agreed and started huggin and smooching on him. Things led to other things and The Godfather showed her his cock, so she bought him some drinks.*/whisper*
A little about me: I have several cats and here's a picture of me:

Support Hooters & The Cheerleaders Who Work There!

2006-02-11T02:06:00.000-07:00

CNN: An East Tennessee State University student says she was dismissed from the cheerleading squad because she works at a Hooters restaurant. Freshman Kimberly Sams says she's 18 and should be allowed to work where she wants. The owl-themed restaurants feature waitresses in snug athletic shirts and shorts. The company has a banner on its Web site reading, "Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined." Sams says she was called into a locker room after practice and dismissed by squad coach Tammy Bartow about three weeks ago. Sams says Bartow told her the off-campus job was the reason.

The Godfather Says: I can say this much my fellow manmates, I bet that Tammy Bartow is a fat ugly pig and probably is a bit envious of a hot ass 18 year old with big firm beautiful breasts! Ya wanna know why my people? Because Tammy Bartows' husband is the coach of the basketball team. Tammy feared her husband was gonna make a move to mount the cheerleader. Hell it was probably the right decision to kick her off because the cheerleader is hot. Any man would give a right arm to pick up her skirt and go to town. A lesson to women out there... as you get older and fatter remember your husband or boyfriend is thinking of a younger hotter ass. He won't tell you but he is. This my friends is the reason she was kicked off! Punished for being a hot babe! Well, she can cum work for the Godfather.

Here Is Some Love For My Female Fans

2006-02-10T23:04:00.000-07:00

From a great new fan of the show......, Ann Illusion http://marilynsdiamonds.blogspot.com/ wrote some interesting things for the godfather. Here is some of what my new friend wrote. Oh, and by the way she is hot from what I can see:

ANN Says: Afraid to step inside this blog, Too curious to leave, So considering you held a mens staff meeting in my Marilyn blog I think it'll be cool for me to just observe the boys club....This is some hilarious material Mr. Big Man....snickering and kicking over the stack of empty bud cans in the corner... i appreciate your humor and there is definitely some validity and truth in your material...i will keep coming back...that is of course, if you don't mind a woman crashing the party every now and then...ciao'. i'm a pot stirrer too...love it! see ya around the big melting blog pot...we can stir up some trouble together...take care

The Godfather Says: I would love to cause some trouble!

By the way my fellow manmates, check out her blogs too. She has a few. I love the Marilyn Monroe blog she has. Nice naked pictures.

Short Story Of The Day (Intelligent Thinking)

2006-02-09T23:13:00.000-07:00

At last she was equipped with gaping raiders that were steadfast upon her quarry. Behold thy whisked talon of workmanship upon the rails of freedom in which she began to cry. What must be told of lone fighting stances is that yield treason of the monarch and lonesome breast. Cometh thy sword of theater as the wind of thinking prevails upon the light of greatness. Fight he said, and when the bellows became clitoris she was dwelling in flatulence. And the story ends here for now.......

Staff Meeting!!! Agenda: Cocks' Night Out

2006-02-09T18:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I have had a staff meeting with my fellow manmates and to any women attending today's' staff meeting pay close attention. First we will recite the "Man's Creed" before we begin:

I am a man, I invented the wheel. I built the Eiffel Tower with brawn and steel. I think clearly under pressure and at rest. I am relied upon because I am the best. I provide shelter for my dependents because I can. I am burly, bold and strong And usually never wrong. Sports, booze and women is our life, Saying no to a nagging girlfriend or wife. We the men of the world must stay free We will leave the toilet seat up so we can pee! Raise your glasses and join hands! Let us drink and cry out our motto....I AM A MAN!

Ok boys, it is good to be back and it is certainly good to be a man. All week all I keep thinking about is hot naked women and beer. Raise your hand boys if you feel the same? Alright good! Married men out there this weekend you are going to treat yourselves to a wonderful time of bar hopping and flirting with young big breasted women. Enjoy yourselves and by no means will you pull your wallet out. Let your cocks do the paying. If the women find you attractive you will know it and they can pay the bar tab. It's time women not only swallow the load but that they carry the load, right guys? For those single sperm infested men out there, look for hot babes this weekend to bang. It's my treat guys. Let your dicks be seen by all women young and old. Take it from me boys, it's our time. Go forth men and have fun. Dismissed.

Andrea Yates! YOU ARE A FUCKIN' MURDERER YOU BITCH!

2006-02-02T20:07:00.000-07:00

CNN: A Texas appeals court in early 2005 reversed the capital murder convictions of Andrea Yates, the woman who drowned her five children in a bathtub, citing the false testimony of a prosecution witness. Jurors in 2002 sentenced Yates to life in prison in the 2001 deaths of three of her children: Noah, 7, John, 5, and Mary, 6 months. She was not tried in the deaths of the other two, Luke, 3, and Paul, 2. Jurors deliberated for three hours and 40 minutes before finding Yates guilty of murder on March 13, 2002. Her attorneys argued that Yates was insane when she drowned the children but prosecutors said Yates knew what she was doing was wrong.
My response: This is an outrage and I am appalled that they are portraying Andrea Yates as the victim. Give me a break. She is a woman and believe me if this was a man, he would have gotten punishment to the fullest extent the law can offer. She is not a victim, and as an adult you are responsible for your actions. To drown one child at a time you know damn well what you are doing. Scott Peterson unfortunately killed his wife and unborn child and got the death penalty and there was not a single person saying he was insane. What he did was wrong and he should be held accountable but so should that bitch Andrea Yates. How can you murder your whole family and not be responsible? Another example of women getting the free ticket. Well, I would like 1 woman out there to respond and you tell me that she is not guilty of murder and than ask yourself, if your husband did this to you would you feel he should be guilty of murder? You damn right! Look at those children ladies, they are the victim.

Trick Or Treat!

2006-01-27T01:33:00.000-07:00

Women are like presents. A present is basically a presentation of what may lie underneath. At first glance a present may be red with Christmas patterns along with a cute little bow tie. The same can be said for a woman. A woman could be hot blonde with big hooters and a whale tail sticking out from the back of her pants. Oh, for those that do not know what a whale tail is... ... It is the part of the panties that sticks out when a woman is kneeling down. Usually in the shape of a whale tail. Anyway you take your present home and mount it like a mustang and you roll over and go to sleep. The next day you wake up and all of her makeup rubbed off on your pillow and the once beautiful gift is now gone. You now know why women spend so much time putting makeup on. It is like Halloween everyday for them. Trick or treat... ... Yea, last night it was a treat but today I found out it was a dirty trick! Any by the way guys, doesn't that whale tail look good.

Try This Argument Guys If You Are Faced With This Issue!

2006-01-26T18:58:00.000-07:00

If you purchased a car, would you obtain car insurance? How about medical insurance at your job, would you sign up for that? Of course you would because you are protecting yourself from injury and damages. Who wouldn’t want to protect themselves? It is not that you believe you are going to get into a car accident or that you believe you are going to get gravely ill but the insurance is there if you need it. Ok, so why then do most women get offended when a man wants her to sign a prenuptial agreement? You don’t go into a marriage knowing it is going to fail but it is there if you need to protect yourself and I came to the conclusion that unless it would benefit a woman then she will not be on the same page as you in regards to this. Oh sure, she is happy that you as a man can provide her medical coverage or car insurance because it benefits her and the threat of losing your assets in the event of a failed marriage pisses her off. Well, too damn bad ladies it is time men protect themselves so my advice to my fellow manmates out there is to protect yourself. If a woman does not have a problem with a prenuptial agreement then let the wedding bells ring. If she has a problem, send her packing and start looking for some hot babes with lower back tattoos!

Tom Leykis Knows His Stuff

2006-01-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

I was listening to Tom Leykis on the radio today on my way to work and he talked about something that a lot of us guys can relate to…. “Women that won’t put out unless they get to know you. Women who won’t put out until they get married.” Have any of you guys ever been in a relationship like that? First of all when guys see a woman for the first time, the only thing we immediately know about them is they have a nice ass and a big beautiful rack. That’s all we know so we are drawn to them by mere attraction alone. Women operate the same way. However, women have to be taken to restaurants and rip out a mans' wallet as a tradeoff. The fact is guys are animals and if women want to play the hard to get game with us, we will find somewhere else to put our middle man so to speak. If you think your man is waiting for you, you are kidding yourself. If he is, he is either a poindexter, gay, mormon or he has no length and girth to his pitiful sausage and he knows that it would be worthless to a woman anyway.

I need help writing the "mans' creed"

2006-01-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

I need help guys, I want you all to view what I have so far. I want to involve you guys so I would like some suggestions on this. Here is what I have so far:

I am a man, I invented the wheel.
I built the Eiffel Tower with brawn and steel.
I think clearly under pressure and at rest.
I am relied upon because I am the best.
I provide shelter for my dependants because I can.
I am burly, bold and strong
And usually never wrong.
Sports, booze and women is our life,
Saying no to a nagging girlfriend or wife.
We the men of the world must stay free
We will leave the toilet seat up so we can pee!
Raise your glasses and join hands!
Let us drink and cry out our motto…
…I AM A MAN!

I want to say "Thank You" my fellow manmates!

2006-01-21T20:32:00.000-07:00

Boys, I have received some great comments from some of you in regards to my blog and here is what you have said:

Frank said...
Hey Dave,I've been reading your posts, as well as the comments, which has encouraged me to post "Rules From A Man" Finally, the guys side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. You can see these rules on my blog The View From 8000 Feet http://fvflohr.blogspot.com

ChefPhronc said...
Hey Dave I'm like you when somebody is following me to a location. I make sure I keep them in my rearview mirror. If for some reason I lose sight of em I pull over and wait. I guess this comes from the fact I do construction work at some rather remote locations here in the rockie mountains of Colorado. Without someone to follow they can be hard to find.

Warlike said...
Nice post Dave. I agree wholeheartedly. How else could there be a number 1 song called "GOLDDIGGER!"

candyman44 said...
yo man, this is some funny crap. i like it, ur very straight forward. this is funny. VERY FUNNY!!if u got any spare time, check out my blog, www.bnashasself.blogspot.com

NOTE: I must point out to my viewers that you all need to check out these guys blogs and give them support as they support me, Dave Champion!

Women's Rights?

2006-01-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

Here are some amendments for women’s rights that have been passed:
1900 By now, every state has passed legislation modeled after New York’s Married Women’s Property Act (1848), granting married women some control over their property and earnings.

Dave Says: This amendment destroyed men permanently. What was at one time quote un-quote , SOME CONTROL” is now full control. Woman today not only have control over their own money but a man’s income as well. If you get a divorce you will get nothing but you should be able to keep your penis.

1923 National Woman’s Party proposes Constitutional amendment: “Men and women shall have equal rights throughout the United States and in every place subject to its jurisdiction. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.”

Dave Says: Equal rights? Do they mean fifty fifty or ninety ten?

2000 CBS Broadcasting agrees to pay $8 million to settle a sex discrimination lawsuit by the E.E.O.C. on behalf of 200 women.

Dave Says: How the hell do you prove sex discrimination? Do you just go by what women say? I find it hard to believe an employer would say something like oh, I dunno….”Well Sally, I am sorry you are not qualified for this position because we want women with bigger tits. But we will keep your resume on file.” That is horse shit! They beat the system just like they do in everything else! I guess the joke is on us.

Women Have It Easy

2006-01-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

My mom and dad were married for 49 years before my mom passed away a few years ago. That is a long time. I recently talked to my dad about his relationship with my mom and he brought up a good point. My father said that when him and my mom would argue regardless of what it was about, who was right or who was wrong my day would apologize. Now that he mentioned it, I do remember that being true. I had to laugh because it is the same way in my marriage. I wonder why that is. I loved my mom and by no means do I hold something like that against her but if you think about it that's messed up and yet they remained married for almost 50 years. My wife is the same way though. Just a small mystery I will never understand.

Women should admit when they are wrong, I mean lets' face it... ..They have it easy. Besides pregnancy women can obtain a fairly easy life if they play their cards right. My sister for example never got a ticket despite being pulled over countless times for speeding. Why? Because my sister has tits. Women including my sister can go to a club without any money because they have tits. True, men will buy the drinks but that is only because we want to get in their pants. Women should be delighted and honored that men want to mount them like bulls. It shows women we find them attractive, without all of the flowers and fake stuff that so often is involved in bedding women. That is the truth. When was the last time we got a break because a woman cop saw the buldge in our pants? Yea, right... ... We would be thrown in the brig for being perverts. Men don't want to constantly be taken advantage of and bossed around but that is the way it is. Any couple that gets divorced in this country, women will have all of the assets including the children. Even if a woman murders someone. They will say that she is the victim of years of mental abuse. I see it all of the time on CNN, Lifetime and every other channel. They often ask prosecutors if there is a small chance that a woman can plead insanity to get the lesser charge. Sometimes women use the post pardom depression crap. They say yes I drowned all of my children but that is because I was depressed... Boo Hoo... and the men suffer again. Maybe that is why marriages years ago lasted long because men were afraid to lose everything but today we just give in and accept it!

Follow Me!!!

2006-01-17T22:05:00.000-07:00

Today I had to go to someone’s house to pick up some furniture for donation purposes. I didn’t know where the house was so I had to follow someone to my destination. I arrived where this individual was that I was to follow with a 24 foot truck. Who was this person that I was to follow you ask? Well it was none other than a woman driving a Chevy Tahoe. I said to myself, “This is going to be an interesting day.”

If I asked someone to follow me in a vehicle, I would make damn sure they remained behind me at all times so they knew where they were going but this was not the case for me. We proceeded to enter traffic. She makes a right hand turn on a busy street not thinking of me in the slow 24 foot truck behind her. She just goes into traffic and blazes down the street and keeps going. I couldn’t make my turn because of traffic so she was nowhere in sight. I would have made sure there was enough time for myself to make the turn as well as the vehicle behind me. But, that’s just the man in me. It makes too much sense. Anyhow, back to my story. I finally had to bust ass to catch up with her because she was driving like a bat out of hell weaving in and out of traffic. She made the statement at the beginning of this mess to “follow her” so having said that, she should have had the decency and common sence to make sure I was behind her. But no, she was on her cell phone as usual talking to one of her soccer mom friends about nothing I’m sure but what she should have been doing is concentrating on the task at hand.

When we arrived she bitched because I couldn’t keep up with her and I lost it at that point. I basically said, first of all I am driving a 5 ton 24 foot moving truck that is slow to begin with, that’s number one. Number two you didn’t allow room for me to enter traffic when you bolted into the intersection, I mean what the hell did she expect me to do run over innocent people so I can keep up with her? She just looked at me with a look of… …I think Days Of Our Lives Is On. Clearly, what I said went right over her head. There is a happy ending though, I got the job done in a manly fashion.

Listen Up Ladies...I'm Rich!

2006-01-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

Has anyone out there in TV land seen The Bachelor Paris? I'm sure you ladies out there have and I bet you love the show. In the first episode, you had some bitch get voted off and she demanded to know why she was voted off the show. She said her biological clock was ticking away and she wanted to have babies. Typical bullshit if you ask me. Women find themselves in a situation where they are getting older, they are not in a meaningful relationship and it must be the mans' fault that they are in the position they are in. Life isn't always about you ladies remember that. Oh and by the way, look at all the money hungry bitches on the show. What a freaking joke. If the very same guy they are drooling over was not a doctor they would not be acting like this. If he was a mechanic or a janitor they would not even look his way. I say stay in the kitchen ladies and cook dinner for us. When we are ready, pull your panties down and get busy. When we want to go to the bar with our friends we are going, Period! These fantasy shows you watch are just that, fantasies. It is just a show and by the way the show sucks anyway.

I Love This Blog!

2006-01-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

My blog reminds me of a beehive. (Look at the hair on those girls. Sexy!) Every post I write aggravates the bees. Then, I irritate the bees a bit more. Now they are swarming, in and out of here teaming up to gang up on the aggressor. This, is entertainment. The bees are good for one thing though. Honey!

WEIGHT LOSS SECRETS REVEALED!!!

2006-01-14T15:01:00.000-07:00

Fork + Food = Lardass
Fork - Food= Gradual Weight Loss
Spending money on diet secrets = Dumb and you will never lose the weight.

Thank Dr. Champion later

Our Success Is A Womans' Treat!

2006-01-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

Success is an illusion for men! You're young, energetic and full of self motivation. After getting out of high school your goal is to achieve greatness in whatever field you desire. You work long hours mixing in school work and extra curricular activities but still you always manage ways to get it done. You maintain your residence, your primary source of transportation, put food on the table and still, you excel at work and you remain a social god. The sky is the limit for you. Then you go out to a club because your buddy needs a wingman. You tell your friend you have to get up and work but you are loyal, so you go.

You meet a young hot chic in a bar and that's when your life begins to spin out of control. You feel obligated to buy her a drink because after all your a nice guy but she does this quite often, going out and getting free drinks. She is waiting for a guy like you. You date, spend your hard earned money, drive her around and your work ethic slips. You can't be social because you are taken so talking to other girls is a no no. People wonder what happened to, "Johnny Saturday Night" ya know, the guy everyone knew and cared about. Now you get married. Rules are set for you to follow. Don't be home late, feed the dog, put the toilet seat down, do these jeans make me look fat?, the girls are coming over, turn the game off, I need a tissue, I just went clothes shopping with your money and by the way guys... .. It doesn't end there!

You now have kids! You love them so much. You take them places, teach them right from wrong, so; you are their mentor, their role model but most important... ...Their dad. As they grow the marriage starts to get worse and then you get divorced. Everything is taken from you just like that, your kids, your house, your car, half your money, garnished wages, your career slips, your the guy you never wanted to be but the bottom line is guys... ... Welcome to manhood! We need to take back what is ours! You may ask,"What is that my brother?" Our manhood, our lives and our pride.

NOTE: I am married and happy by the way so this is not a reflection on me in any way but I am an observer of family members, television and the world around me and this is what I see.

Women... The Complex Creature

2006-01-13T15:11:00.000-07:00

I'm Always Sorry.... Yes women are hard to figure out and for us men it may seem that women are complex creatures. The fact is they really are not, but they do make everything harder than it has to be. If they would just simplify things maybe they wouldn't be so bad at everything besides sex. For example men sometimes hear,"Can you put the toilet seat down when you are done?" I have 2 comments: Number one, who said the toilet seat being down is the proper position? Why not up? Is there instructions telling all of us that the toilet seat being down is the starting position? Of course not but we are just used to women telling us this shit. Men should respond by saying this, "When your done, can you put the seat back up?" It's no different. The glass is half empty or half full, partly sunny or partly cloudy. It's all the same. Oh, and to respond to the women out there who say this... You have 2 arms and 2 legs, put the seat down yourself and take the trash down while you're at it too, I'm watching the game!

Women Drivers: Hidden Health Risk To Men

2006-01-12T14:49:00.000-07:00

How drunk does a man have to be to drive as dangerously as a sober woman?
Answer: 7 Drinks

The dramatic difference between men and women in hand/eye coordination suggests that women drive far fewer miles than NHTSA estimates.
Women pilots have a crash rate four times higher than men pilots.
Women truckers have a crash rate six times higher than men truckers.
NHTSA data suggests that women drivers are only 70% more likely than men drivers to have a fatal accident.
NHTSA data suggests that a man who drinks and drives increases his probability of having an accident by 4% and ignores that sober women drivers have a probability of having an accident equivalent to that of men drivers with a BAC = 0.12.
NHTSA data suggests that if only men drove:
Traffic accidents would decrease only 22%.
Only 9,159 lives would be saved each year.
Only 330,000 lives would be saved over the next 30 years.
Only $44 billion per year would be saved in crash repair costs.
Their data suggests that if only women drove:
There would be 23,879 more traffic fatalities each year.
There would be 7,674 more women killed each year.

NOTE: above information pulled NHTSA website

If A Man Was Driving The Other Car... This Would Never Have Happened

2006-01-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

Just to let all of my viewers know, I did have 2 accidents in my life and thankfully nobody was injured. The first on happened back in 2002 when I was driving through an intersection when a driver was waiting to turn in front of me. The driver of the other car, we will call her "Brenda banana Boobs" stopped at a red arrow. Even though she was facing me I know this because in Arizona and at this particular light, you are not allowed to turn on anything but a green arrow and being my light was green her light was obviously red. Anyway at the last second from some odd reason, she decided to run the red arrow and cut in front of me. But that's not all, instead of continuing to go through the intersection, she saw me and literally stopped dead in front of me. I was driving an old beat up Plymouth Acclaim and I smashed into her nice Lexus. After getting pummeled by my airbag, I did what most men do. I stopped for a split second and assessed the situation. Realizing that I was ok, I pushed my car off of the road. After I was finished, the woman asked me, "What do I do?" I said, "Push your damn car off the road!" After her rich fake boobed body and myself were out of harms way I simply asked her, "What the hell were you thinking and why did you stop in the middle of the road?" She said, "I panicked!" Of course she did, she is a woman, she went through a red light, stopped got plowed and panicked. The police gave her a ticket. That's a happy ending.

Time Management For Women Lesson I

2006-01-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

I have a problem... A problem with driving because I am so scared. Yes I am afraid to drive my car. Not because of my abilities but because of the women on our streets that drive their large SUV's while talking on the cell phone and putting their make-up on. It's crazy but true. Women + Large Vehicles + Cell Phones = Death to all men. I do however have a solution. Time management. Yes ladies, time management. Stop watching "The View" and "Starting Over" and come closer to your monitor so you can learn something for a change. If you woke your asses up earlier, you would not be painting your faces on your way to your beaver convention or whatever it is you do. Don't give me the excuse that it takes women longer to get ready either because if that was the case you would simply wake up earlier. Also, please put the cell phone down. I am sure your significant other doesn't give a crap about your shopping experience you just had. Besides you are probably spending his hard earned money. I am sure he is to much of a pussy to tell you the truth either. So save all men from your bad habits and either use proper time management or stay the hell home!